In the days and months that followed, I was *supposed* to be grieving.
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And in many ways, I was...
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...but I had discovered my ability to talk to my Dad and Kristian every day, and to heal my life by bringing the experiences I truly desired into my field of consciousness.

I found deep, inner peace. I found proof that any one of us can live a peaceful, fulfilled and abundant life at any point in time… all we have to do is ask, and be willing to serve.

This ability was sparked by a profound, “out of body” experience I shared with my husband at his time of death.

‍I speak about this experience in greater detail in my keynote speech (which… it probably makes more sense to hear about it that way…) but in a nutshell, he and I were so close, like, twin flames close, that he communicated his passing to me on a soul level in many ways during the 24 hours before he left this earth, and in his time of death, he took me with him to another realm, where I saw what we all are at our core: pure, infinite love.

Imagine experiencing this as a 28-year-old woman.

Part of me said “no, thanks” and didn’t want to connect the dots…
...from strange conversations between the two of us 48 hours prior to his accident, to seeing repeating numbers and hearing voices of protection the day of, to being lifted out of my own body at 10:22 PM on July 1, 2015.

I “heard” the knock on my apartment door an hour before two men appeared to tell me my husband was involved in a crash… I remember saying to one of them, “this isn’t real. You were just here an hour ago.”

But it was all real, as real as the crushing feeling of numbness, shock, and anguish at having my true love ripped away from me.
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The days and weeks after Kristian’s death were a blur. I was still grappling with my Dad’s death the year before, and now the two most important men in my life were gone. I felt like an empty husk and struggled to find meaning in each sunrise.

Still, there was a whisper within telling me that the realm Kristian showed me was real, and I needed to look deeper to understand why I had experienced such an intense connection with him.

I began to journal every day, after meditating on “that feeling” I had experienced of being taken to another place.

What started to flow from the tip of my pen was unexpected, and yet sounded so familiar:

"Perhaps I may sound different than what you remember from my time on Earth. Yet, I am speaking the same words now as I did then, what I already knew to be true during our brief time together: that we are powerful beyond measure, and we are meant to live, give, and receive love. This holy exchange is the reason why we choose to come here, and why we again choose to return home. Hold this love up to the light, and let every day be an examination of its splendor."

RECEIVING THIS MESSAGE WAS THE FIRST TIME I RECOGNIZED THE VOICE OF MY CONSCIOUS AWARENESS.‍

‍IT WAS ALSO MY INITIATION INTO KNOWING AND LIVING THROUGH THE CLARION STARCHETYPE IMPRINT.

(Side note- many gurus would love to sell you the idea that this voice takes years and years to recognize/manifest/call into consciousness. Not true. The message above was one of the first excerpts from my journal, and reads just as true as the messages I channel to this day. Anyone can access inner peace in an instant.)

I learned how to commune with “The Voice” daily and continued writing what I heard. It led me to a series of questions I wrote and worked through, which allowed me to come to terms with my grief, forgive myself of toxic shame, and allow abundance into my life.

Those questions are now the cornerstone of my coaching practice and part of every keynote workshop I deliver.

‍The Voice urged me to quit my job and see the world.

I would like to think The Voice brought new love into my consciousness.

It brought empathy, compassion, and awareness.

TRUST ME, IT’S HARD LIVING THROUGH AWAKENED CONSCIOUSNESS WHEN YOUR EGO IS TELLING YOU TO BE EVERYTHING BUT.

The Ego will tell you to slow your roll and put noise-cancelling headphones over The Voice. The Ego was designed to keep us safe and comfortable.

I think there’s something delightful about stepping out of your comfort zone, while still acknowledging that zone exists.

_{IF I KNOW ONE THING, IT IS THIS:}
IT’S OK TO BE IMPERFECT AND AWAKE AT THE SAME TIME.
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It’s ok to struggle. It is ok to question your reality…while still making a home in your own skin.

The love I experienced in the other realm is the door to inner peace. It is our True North.

Every day that I doubt my ability to tell my story of grief, redemption, and forgiveness, I hear The Voice telling me that my story is one that needs to be heard. There is nothing inherently unique about it, but if it brings comfort to another #millennial who’s been through the wringer, I’m all about sharing.